‘I want to recover but I’ll gain weight and I can’t tolerate that’
I hear some variation of this fear in almost every person I work with.
And it makes sense when you think about it, controlling our bodies, making ourselves smaller has been a lifelong mission for many of us and suspending that fear is frightening.
There are two fears actually at play here, the fear of the weight but also the fear of tolerating what we believe to be intolerable. Learning to tolerate weight gain is no different than learning to tolerate any other uncomfortable feeling. How do I do that you may ask…well that is the actual work, learning to be uncomfortable and not having to do something to ‘fix it’.
Try to suspend that fear, just for a moment and ask yourself:
Where did I learn this?
Think about it, who benefits off you constantly being tied up in knots about controlling, managing and shrinking your body?
Diet culture, companies selling you products to ‘fix it’. The person that got a better grade than you or a promotion because you were fixated on your body instead truly showing up.
What are you not doing when you’re so hyper focused on food and weight?
You’re not concentrating in school or work, building relationships and moving through the day with an inner peace that you are ok just as you are.
Imagine how much space you would have in your life for so much more if you weren’t constantly thinking about what you ate today, what you’re going to eat later, what you need to do to ‘get ready’ for that wedding next month.
There is always going to be another event, another reason why you can’t recover right now but recovery means you get to a point where you truly do feel a respect for and over time, comfort in your body. The body that you will have at the wedding next month, on holiday in August, at photos at Christmas and yes, even in January.
As Sonya Renee Taylor so eloquently taught us, ‘The body is not an apology’. So when will we start to see that we aren’t our bodies, our bodies are what carry us around the world whilst we do other things. They are tools to engage in the world, not a project to be finished or goal to be reached.
Because if we wait for something external to tell us we’re ok, that goal will never be reached, the body never ‘finished’.
Start somewhere, get some coaching, find a role model who has a great relationship with food and their body. We’re out there and want to help others to find freedom.